Birthdays

"We shall steer safely through every storm, so long as our heart is right, our intention fervent, our courage steadfast, and our trust fixed on God."

— St. Francis de Sales

That's the first thing I read today, on my 43rd birthday. I hope that my heart has been right, my intentions fervent, my courage steadfast, and I do have my trust fixed on God. I've been very blessed that things work out, they always do. Maybe not in the way we imagined, but they work out. And don't they for everyone if they place their trust in Him? We are still here, are we not? So something has to be working out. 

I feel like I tread water quite often - like sometimes I'm forcing a path that maybe I shouldn't be. But those words I read today helped me realize that if your reasons are noble, then the decisions you make are valid. We've really tried hard to make those big decisions with the best interests in mind. 

And they're always the harder ones, I can promise you that.

Nope, it wasn't easy bringing the kids to mass. But they're there, and their little hearts know Him and what His teachings are. They know how to treat others, and they are always willing to lend a helping hand for the benefit of mankind. 

And they know the joy in becoming selfless. 

Nope, it wasn't easy to take the kids on vacations. But they're going, and they are loving them as much as we do. I hope their memories keep the good stuff.

Nope, it wasn't easy to make dinners every (well, most - I'm not a saint) night. But we did, and the kids have healthy eating habits, and resist the temptation of gross fast food. And they are now helping make them - preparing for their grown up lives. 

Nope, it wasn't easy sitting down to dinner every night. But the laughter around the table and the unplugging and bonding is something we all treasure. Oh, yes, there were plenty of push and pull dinner eating encouragement nights, but it's ok. We're just trying to love them through brussel sprouts.

Nope, it wasn't easy making the kids do homework, keeping up with the emails, calls, and it still isn't easy. But we're getting through it, and the joy that they feel when they overcome these school obstacles creates self-confidence. And hopefully it's forming good self-driven work habits. But we're still working on that one - lol!

Nope, it wasn't, and never is easy pulling out the driveway of my parents' house and waving good-bye, knowing that I live far away from them. But I am grateful to have them in my life still. And I am grateful for the life they gave me 43 years ago today. 

Nope, it wasn't easy to do the good stuff. It wasn't easy to make the tough choices and decisions. It wasn't easy to say no, to gently encourage greatness in spirit. But when it happened, when we look back on what we did that was tough but good, we find that it was usually the right thing to do. And it's beginning to pay off. My heart is beyond full of the good stuff, and I hope that my little peon of a life mattered to a handful of the ones I've encountered. 

I'm not sure what the next 43 years hold, if I am given them. But I'm so incredibly grateful for those little times along the way that were always big to me.